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Tony Blair is testifying to the British government about the Rupert Murdoch phone hacking scandal.  He had some very nice things to say about the man to whose daughter he serves as Godfather: “He is not actually a sort of identikit rightwing person … you know, he has bits of him that are very anti-establishment; meritocratic, I would say.”  Chahhhhhhming.  I suppose they hack private cell-phones in a proactive way that’s outside the box in an outrageous new paradigm and totally in your face.  Well, maybe not the last one.  More like totally sneaky in a matter befitting a major felony.

Well but so it wasn’t a total loss.  A protestor somehow made it up to the testifying area and after a quick “Excuse me” started calling Blair a war criminal and accused him of being paid off by JP Morgan to let them fuck with the Iraqi bank.

Other protestors threw eggs at his Rolls when he left.  I’m a big believer in this stuff.  Part of the reason these assdicks get away with the heinous shit they do is that there’s not enough push-back against the construction of them as serious, thoughtful, considerate, decent people.  The more folks that go “huh, I wonder what that was about”, and the more that see breaches of decorum like chicken embryos sliding down their 100,000 pounds sterling cars, the harder it is to portray war criminals as thoughtful statesmen.

Of course there are tactics which have evolved to fight the above.  One of which is centrist media portrayals of the incidents which treat the protestors as a common and inevitable feature of the landscape that is nothing anyone has to think about.

The Guardian, for some fucked-up reason, portrayed the protestor as an example of the “placard-wielding critics” that follow Blair around “like little black rainclouds”, though noting that Blair had the kind of tan you can get “when you can source expensive sun year-round.”  Blair “barely flinched”, “waited with his chin in his hand,” “another day, another call for extradition to the Hague.”  Ha ha people who care about war crimes are funny and come with the territory of being a major politician who must commit war crimes as a matter of course nothing to see here.

The Guardian also, of course, said Blair attempted to “set the record straight”, quoting him as saying, “Um, can I just say, um, actually, on the record, what he said … is completely and totally untrue …” Interesting that they left out caveats Blair said, which is that “what he said about Iraq and JP Morgan is completely and totally untrue.  I’ve never had a discussion with them about that.”

Hmm.  I don’t think I could use that as a fulcrum for a perjury charge.  But if I were detective Lenny Briscoe I would give my partner a wry look.

via Crooks and Liars.

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I named my cats "I don't give a shit" and "About the consequences of what I say"

I named my cats “I don’t give a shit” and “About the consequences of what I say”

Via Mondoweiss

Jesus fucking Christ.  Yagil Levy, an Israeli assistant professor of political science writing for Foreign Policy, posted roughly the following:

“Could allowing Israel to strike Iran have a net-positive outcome? Israel wouldn’t be ready for retaliation, especially Tel-Aviv, and would be hit hard. That would make Israel ready for a negotiated peace. In exchange for monitored Iranian nuclear program, Israel could be persuaded to leave the West Bank, maybe even the Golan Heights!  It’s worth a shot, because after all diplomacy sometimes ends in [and this is the exact phrase that is used] “costly war”.  There is another way of course this is far-fetched and diplomacy is always best we should do everything possible to keep from engaging in this last resort which I have just spent thousands of words defending in glowing terms.”

Centrist crimes:

Explaining the benefits of another motherfucking goddamn fucking unnecessary war.  Fuck you.  Centrist crime against humanity, life in the Hague.

Treating massive civilian death as a perhaps tad messy but otherwise neutral way to accomplish strategic goals.  “Tel-Aviv is not built to withstand an Iranian attack and would get pounded.  Good news for the negotiating table!”

Spinning out elaborate scenarios based on hyperspecific assumptions about the interaction of complex and unknowable variables.  “The war will proceed like this in such and such timeframe, and Israeli public opinion will respond like that in such and such timeframe, which will affect the negotiating positions of Israeli leaders in this specific way, which will force them to solve this festering sore of apartheid which has been one of the most intractable geopolitical problems in the post WWII era.”  You do not advocate a fucking war by writing fanfic with international countries.  That’s just something decent people don’t do.

Never once, at all, considering the response of someone considered an enemy in any capacity to be anything other than what the centrist wants and requires it to be.

Using the faux-erudite tone de rigeur among centrists which wraps everything in cotton in a very sober and reasoned way that makes the insane fucking things the author is saying seem objective and inevitable.

Refusing to even gesture toward potential negative geopolitical consequences of starting a fucking war in the Middle East while writing about the potential benefits.  Double life sentences in the Hague.

I don’t know this Israeli professor, don’t know his politics, don’t know his academic work.  But fuck him for vomiting that centrist militarist effluvia into the public sphere.

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#RomneyShambles Andrea Mitchell Another reason why J R is the greatest satire of our age As an academic you're supposed to be a fucking officer class thinker why are you saying this bullshit CBS Centrism: still damaging even when it comes from nobodies Centrist jizzum is the medium through which corporate political discourse propagates Charles Murray Charles Pierce: fucking awesome Clint Eastwood Clive Crook Cory Booker crazy-eyed centrist David Brooks: fucking awful David Gregory David Petraeus Doris Kearns Goodwin Ed Rendell Evan Bayh Feeeeeeeeed Fox News Glenn Kessler Harold Ford Jr. Hey you know what would be awesome war in the Middle East Ian Bremmer I can't think of a tag that can adequately capture the dickassness of Ryan Lizza I wish they would at least hide it a little Jeremy Peters Joe Klein John Heilemann Josh Kraushaar just take the middle of two arbitrary points Just wake me when it ends Lanny Davis Lawrence Lessig I don't envy you your trials LGM Mainly for me to get down in writing what's been screaming in my head Matt Apuzzo Matt Bai Matt Miller Michael Crowley Michael Gerson Newspapers Norm Ornstein Objectively defending awful policies in the name of objectivity Obscene depictions of obscene political and economic processes Old white guys be acting old and white Oprah Probably too long Rachel Maddow Romney Science is pretty alright but damn dude it ain't the only thang Science motherfucker do you speak it Stephen Colbert The fall of Americans Elect is the Centrist 9/11 The goddamn AP The Guardian These are the jokes The worst thing about 30 Rock is when they treat Brian Williams without contempt This made me laugh so hard that I was rolling on the floor Tommy Friedman Tony Blair Too angry to swear much this time Van Jones Vox Washington Post We will refrain from making Mickey Kaus goat jokes. For now. What happened Nate Silver I had such high hopes for you what is a centrist I don't even Who? Whoever coined the term "Bri Wi" should be forced to take massive quantities of Ex-Lax and Loperamide at the same time
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